Wrong Choice

Ever have one of those moments when you're really very upset about something and you think you've cooled off enough to think about it sanely, and take what you feel is an appropriate action? I did. But unfortunately, I was mistaken.

I sent an email to a friend expressing a concern I was having. I will leave specifics out... but it was over something I've been very frustrated about. I did not send the email out of hate or spite, I was simply trying to express my opinion in a way that I felt I would be heard, not interrupted, and in a way I would not 'lose my temper' or start getting my words mixed up or not come across how I wanted to. I knew that the email would upset my friend (if I received a similar email, I would be upset about it too), but was hoping that she would be understanding of my point of view.

I received two emails back from her and got what was comparable to a slap in the face. Not what I had expected. I don't ever do well 'confronting' people about problems to their face. I always get flustered and can never say what I want to say (ever seen me teach? It's the exact same thing). My friend told me that if there was a problem that I should just tell her, and not email her. After thinking about it, I fully realized that I had been wrong in my approach to her about my concerns.

I saw her later that evening (by chance) and said, "I handled it wrong. I'm sorry." I felt like crap all night long - not because I thought I was wrong in what I said, but how I said it. She is still very mad at me, and I understand and am giving her time and space. We have had this similar issue before, not to this extent, and it was not resolved then; now it has escalated to this.

I hope, in time, she realizes I was not trying to be mean and will forgive me. I could go on and on about how negatively I feel about myself, but that won't help anything at all. The only thing I can say more is that I will try harder to say how I'm feeling when I'm feeling it and not let it build up. I am not perfect and am still trying to learn the best way to interact with my friends and other people.