First Lesson

Sunday, Feb. 1, 2009 was quite the day for me. In my singles ward, I am the organist in Sacrament Meeting and have recently been called as an Instructor (teacher) in Relief Society. My first lesson was supposed to be Feb. 8, but it was bumped up to last Sunday. I was NERVOUS the entire time I was up front teaching. I could not stop shaking.

I was so nervous about it, I messed up the closing song in Sacrament Meeting too! I completely botched the intro, so (red-faced) I turned toward the congregation and said, "I'm going to start over". Those who heard me had a good chuckle. I started again and still messed it up, but it was better than the first time.

When I stood up to teach in Relief Society, everything I had in my mind to say left. I made some comment about if they caught a whiff of camp fire, it was my hair and I was sorry... (What the heck! They didn't need to know that!) I started my lesson... "Who has experienced the death of a loved one?" Those who had raised their hands. "For those of you who haven't yet, you will." (HELLO??? I know it's true and all, but come on! My face turned bright red, I almost started crying due to embarrassment, and I SSSOOOO wanted to run out of the room and hide - and not go back!).

It didn't get much better from there. I did get through some major points, I think (my lesson was on words of hope and consolation at the time of death...), and there was a lot of participation - which I was very grateful for! After class, quite a few of the girls and adult leaders came up to give me a hug and tell me how good my lesson was. My face was still red and I was still shaking, but I was glad that it wasn't horrible. I was told that it will get easier, the more I teach. I responded, "That's what they say about playing the piano in front of people too, but I've been playing the piano for 22 years now and I STILL get nervous playing in front of people!"

I still don't know how I feel about how my lesson went, but I am very grateful I was not by myself... I'm glad the spirit was there, helping the sisters understand what I was trying to say, helping them not judge me as a teacher (did I ever mention that I HATE speaking in front of people?). Hopefully next time I teach I will not be as nervous, but if I am, I pray the spirit will still be there, encouraging me to do my best.

(Sorry for the apparent lack of paragraphs... they are there, but for some reason, not showing up how they are supposed to here. Dang it. Maybe the extra spaces will help with that...)