Eating Crow...

One of the hardest things to do as humans is to admit fault to another human and apologize for it when necessary...
Working at an elementary school I have to remember that the kids I interact with range in age from 5-12, and tho some see me as their friend, I am a role model for them and they see how and what I do, and will (consciously or not) do what they see me do. That being said...
I was running a few minutes late today getting out to lunch recess. It is my job to unlock the outside bathroom doors, so the hall monitors (6th graders) came to the office to tell me the kids outside were not being able to use the bathroom. I was frustrated already with what was going on in my head, so I spoke to them more harshly than I should have. I didn't yell or get upset, but my tone of voice was one of annoyance and 'give me a break'. I told them I was running a few minutes behind and I was on my way, so if anyone else needed the bathroom to have them go thru the gym (even tho they -the hall monitors- were sitting right by the door closest to the bathroom... duh for Klara). They walked out and I realized I should not have said what I did HOW I did. The librarian was standing in the office and made a comment "Thank you for letting me know. I will be there as quickly as I can" (she said it in a nice, sweet voice). She didn't say it to make me feel bad, but it did make me feel a little worse.
I got out to recess and unlocked the doors. I noticed I was in a 'snappy' mood... I couldn't smile or laugh and I didn't like how I felt. I tried to talk myself out of feeling bad... 'they're kids; I don't need to worry about it; blah blah blah'. I finally just went into the building, found the hall monitors and said that I was sorry for how I talked to them earlier. I told them I was glad they were doing their job and I had no right or reason to talk to them that way. The looks on their faces were looks of 'yes, you did talk to us mean and are you really here apologizing to US?' When I was done talking with them they looked relieved and happy.
I got back outside and could smile and laugh. I was in a much better mood. I later saw the librarian and apologized to her too. She assured me she was only kidding, but I explained what I've explained here and we laughed. This is not the first time I've apologized to kids for what has happened, but this is the first time I've had to apologize for something that was completely my fault.
The relief I felt after talking to the kids was... freeing. Sometimes it is so much harder to apologize to kids than to other adults. Sometimes I do also forget that they ARE just kids and don't know everything I know and they certainly don't think they way I think. What a learning experience this has been for me!