My adventure today with two kindergarten boys:
We were coming in from recess and two of the boys kept bugging each other. I then noticed one of them (boy 1) jumping on the others' (boy 2) feet. I told them both that they would come to the office with me. While we were waiting for the teacher to come, I overheard boy 2 tell boy 1 that he was going to call the kidnappers. As the teacher was letting the kids into class, I mentioned to her that boy 1 and boy 2 were coming with me to the office.
On the way down the hallway, this scene happened (I wish I could make a movie of it. So classic.): Boy 2 opens his coat and starts "pressing buttons". On closer inspection, on the inside of his coat is a pocket for a cell phone. On that pocket, is a picture of a phone, so he was 'dialing' his phone. He talks to the kidnappers "Can you come get Miss O? she's angry" I chuckle behind them. He hangs up the phone, and turning to boy 1 says "the kidnappers are on their way".
We get to the office and I have them sit down. I pull up a chair in front of them and sit. I look at them, and very seriously say, "So, you called the kidnappers to come and kidnap me because I'm angry?" pause "Why do you think I'm angry?" Since this was the first time the secretaries heard anything of it, I knew they would laugh. My 'knowing' was confirmed when I heard the door to the Principal's office shut. The boys and I talked about how we are supposed to act and that we are supposed to be nice to others.
*Sigh. I love my job :)
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Grade: F
Fail: 1- be unsuccessful in achieving one's goal. 2- neglect to do something. 3- break down; cease to work well.
Failed: 1- not achieving its end or not lasting; unsuccessful. 2- not functioning properly; broken-down.
Failing: 1- a weakness, esp. in character; a shortcoming
Failure: 1- lack of success. 2- the omission of expected or required action. 3- the action or state of not functioning.
I feel like all of these words right now.
I know that these feelings are from the Dark Side.
I know that I haven't really (or am not a) 'fail'-ed, -ing, -ure at all.
After I finish this post, I will inevitably feel better and can focus on feeling happy again.
Here is why I am feeling this today:
I have had the church calling of being over music in the Young Women's program for about two years now. I started with good steam, making sure things were done (even earlier than necessary) and set so no one was "waiting on music". I had such dreams and goals of teaching everyone something wonderful about music, helping them to understand the importance of good music, and helping the YW develop their talents - whether in singing, playing piano, playing another instrument, conducting music, or even just being able to read music. I have a deep love and appreciation for good music, and I wanted to convey that feeling to the YW in my ward.
I have tried my best to do what I felt I should do, but have never felt like I was "a part" of the YW leadership, or even supported in what I was trying to do. I started dropping the ball on being prepared. Then I'd get that spark back and get on top of things again. But still not feeling supported, I again let things go. It seemed that no matter what I did, I was now one step behind what they needed and when.
Today in church, our YW provided the program for our first meeting. There were three musical numbers, none of which I was a part of. I should have been... but I took myself out of the equation (fail) because I was having a "hard time" and didn't want to 'taint' the beautiful spirits of our YW. I listened and tried to feel the spirit. But all I could think was "you should have been a part of this! You should have been there to help them learn those songs. It's your own fault for feeling this way today!" so on and so forth. To nail the coffin shut, one of the leaders got up to say a few words and said that she was impressed with the YW in being able to put together all of the musical numbers ON THEIR OWN. I do not believe that she intended that statement to hurt me, but it did- because I know that I was not doing what I should have been doing (fail).
What kind of a leader am I, setting this bad example of having a calling to do something, and then not doing it? Yet I get upset with other people when they do the same thing? Hypocrite!
I could blame my attitude on the fact that I (still) don't "fit in" in my ward. I am still stuck between the "with kids" and the "youngers". I don't have a place. Adults with kids see me as a child (because I don't have kids), and the 'kids' see me as some 'old' goofy 'kid' who isn't an adult to deserve the 'respect' that other adults get. Many people think I am younger than I am - because I don't have kids, and I act like it. It sometimes bothers me.
I could also blame my attitude on the fact that I think "no one understands". Which is a total lie. I know that I have friends who understand and who I can talk to about things. Why do I keep trying to use the "do it myself" card. I know I can't do it myself, I need help. We all need help sometimes.
Mostly, I blame myself for just being selfish. "Well, if THEY are not going to make me feel a part of them, why should I try" "THEY do not make me feel welcome here" "THEY should be making the effort to make me feel included" Where is my part in all of this?? Isn't it MY job to feel a part of them? Isn't it MY job to help them feel welcome when I'm around? Isn't it MY job to be making an effort to include others?
I realize that things go both ways and that we can all only do what we can, but what kind of message am I sending to others when I don't do what I expect them to do? Maybe I am being really hard (and wrong) on myself right now. Frankly, I don't care. Sometimes, we need a reality check and if I can't get it from someone else, I may as well try to recognize it about myself. We are all our own worst enemy.
All that being said, I do try my best to be honest and fair with everyone.
In other news, Rachael is doing better (I realize that if you haven't read my Facebook posts, you will not know what I'm talking about - Rachael has been in the hospital for the last week due to an abscess on her appendix bursting) and should be home soon. Judy Miller (Rachael's grandmother) passed away last Thursday morning and her funeral is tomorrow. I was able to sit with Rachael in the hospital for a number of hours last Wed night so that her mom, Becky (one of my best friends) could be with her mom and other family members, in preparation for Judy's departure.
My niece, Chloe, had surgery on her eyes to correct a problem last week and she is speedily recovering from that; and is able to see better.
I have not heard recently about April's grandmother, so I hope she is doing well.
Jamie's cat also passed away last week and Jamie has been busy and stressed, so we haven't had time to talk.
Allison is pregnant (yay!!), Linda just had her baby girl. My sister, Kati, is getting married in April. My cousin, Aaron, is getting married in May. I am still waiting to meet my eternal companion and start my own family.
Play practices are... going. It is frustrating knowing that performances are the end of March, and the leads still don't know all of their lines!! There are only a few bits of music left to figure out (a couple of reprises and the bow music), so that is good.
Marvin the Martian flip flops showed up in my mail box... that was a fun surprise that totally made my day! Thank You Fry's!!
I don't even want to get started on Stake Sports right now. Suffice it to say that of the 9 weeks we have had for tournament, only one week was not changed on the schedule. I have had to make a new schedule almost every week, and now we have had to add another building to play in. I am frustrated and tired of having to make new schedules, to allow for other people to use the building, when I was the one who properly scheduled the building back in Nov/Dec!
I can't think of anything else to say right now. *breathe*
These have been the goings-on of late. One way or another, they have affected my life. I pray for all those who are mentioned at all in this post (and others who are not mentioned).
I feel better now that I have 'vented' about my failure (in regards to YW music). Hopefully my next post will be of a 'lighter' subject again :)
I love my life. I love my job. I love my callings. I love my family. I love my friends. I love my Heavenly Father and my Savior.
Failed: 1- not achieving its end or not lasting; unsuccessful. 2- not functioning properly; broken-down.
Failing: 1- a weakness, esp. in character; a shortcoming
Failure: 1- lack of success. 2- the omission of expected or required action. 3- the action or state of not functioning.
I feel like all of these words right now.
I know that these feelings are from the Dark Side.
I know that I haven't really (or am not a) 'fail'-ed, -ing, -ure at all.
After I finish this post, I will inevitably feel better and can focus on feeling happy again.
Here is why I am feeling this today:
I have had the church calling of being over music in the Young Women's program for about two years now. I started with good steam, making sure things were done (even earlier than necessary) and set so no one was "waiting on music". I had such dreams and goals of teaching everyone something wonderful about music, helping them to understand the importance of good music, and helping the YW develop their talents - whether in singing, playing piano, playing another instrument, conducting music, or even just being able to read music. I have a deep love and appreciation for good music, and I wanted to convey that feeling to the YW in my ward.
I have tried my best to do what I felt I should do, but have never felt like I was "a part" of the YW leadership, or even supported in what I was trying to do. I started dropping the ball on being prepared. Then I'd get that spark back and get on top of things again. But still not feeling supported, I again let things go. It seemed that no matter what I did, I was now one step behind what they needed and when.
Today in church, our YW provided the program for our first meeting. There were three musical numbers, none of which I was a part of. I should have been... but I took myself out of the equation (fail) because I was having a "hard time" and didn't want to 'taint' the beautiful spirits of our YW. I listened and tried to feel the spirit. But all I could think was "you should have been a part of this! You should have been there to help them learn those songs. It's your own fault for feeling this way today!" so on and so forth. To nail the coffin shut, one of the leaders got up to say a few words and said that she was impressed with the YW in being able to put together all of the musical numbers ON THEIR OWN. I do not believe that she intended that statement to hurt me, but it did- because I know that I was not doing what I should have been doing (fail).
What kind of a leader am I, setting this bad example of having a calling to do something, and then not doing it? Yet I get upset with other people when they do the same thing? Hypocrite!
I could blame my attitude on the fact that I (still) don't "fit in" in my ward. I am still stuck between the "with kids" and the "youngers". I don't have a place. Adults with kids see me as a child (because I don't have kids), and the 'kids' see me as some 'old' goofy 'kid' who isn't an adult to deserve the 'respect' that other adults get. Many people think I am younger than I am - because I don't have kids, and I act like it. It sometimes bothers me.
I could also blame my attitude on the fact that I think "no one understands". Which is a total lie. I know that I have friends who understand and who I can talk to about things. Why do I keep trying to use the "do it myself" card. I know I can't do it myself, I need help. We all need help sometimes.
Mostly, I blame myself for just being selfish. "Well, if THEY are not going to make me feel a part of them, why should I try" "THEY do not make me feel welcome here" "THEY should be making the effort to make me feel included" Where is my part in all of this?? Isn't it MY job to feel a part of them? Isn't it MY job to help them feel welcome when I'm around? Isn't it MY job to be making an effort to include others?
I realize that things go both ways and that we can all only do what we can, but what kind of message am I sending to others when I don't do what I expect them to do? Maybe I am being really hard (and wrong) on myself right now. Frankly, I don't care. Sometimes, we need a reality check and if I can't get it from someone else, I may as well try to recognize it about myself. We are all our own worst enemy.
All that being said, I do try my best to be honest and fair with everyone.
In other news, Rachael is doing better (I realize that if you haven't read my Facebook posts, you will not know what I'm talking about - Rachael has been in the hospital for the last week due to an abscess on her appendix bursting) and should be home soon. Judy Miller (Rachael's grandmother) passed away last Thursday morning and her funeral is tomorrow. I was able to sit with Rachael in the hospital for a number of hours last Wed night so that her mom, Becky (one of my best friends) could be with her mom and other family members, in preparation for Judy's departure.
My niece, Chloe, had surgery on her eyes to correct a problem last week and she is speedily recovering from that; and is able to see better.
I have not heard recently about April's grandmother, so I hope she is doing well.
Jamie's cat also passed away last week and Jamie has been busy and stressed, so we haven't had time to talk.
Allison is pregnant (yay!!), Linda just had her baby girl. My sister, Kati, is getting married in April. My cousin, Aaron, is getting married in May. I am still waiting to meet my eternal companion and start my own family.
Play practices are... going. It is frustrating knowing that performances are the end of March, and the leads still don't know all of their lines!! There are only a few bits of music left to figure out (a couple of reprises and the bow music), so that is good.
Marvin the Martian flip flops showed up in my mail box... that was a fun surprise that totally made my day! Thank You Fry's!!
I don't even want to get started on Stake Sports right now. Suffice it to say that of the 9 weeks we have had for tournament, only one week was not changed on the schedule. I have had to make a new schedule almost every week, and now we have had to add another building to play in. I am frustrated and tired of having to make new schedules, to allow for other people to use the building, when I was the one who properly scheduled the building back in Nov/Dec!
I can't think of anything else to say right now. *breathe*
These have been the goings-on of late. One way or another, they have affected my life. I pray for all those who are mentioned at all in this post (and others who are not mentioned).
I feel better now that I have 'vented' about my failure (in regards to YW music). Hopefully my next post will be of a 'lighter' subject again :)
I love my life. I love my job. I love my callings. I love my family. I love my friends. I love my Heavenly Father and my Savior.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Broken Hearted
So much has been happening so quickly that I'm on emotional overload. I can't cry, I can't scream, I only feel so hopeless and helpless.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
More Kids
I thought I had posted about this... but I can't find it, so maybe I just thought about posting it. Here is the post I wanted to do back in October:
I was outside with afternoon kindergarten at recess. The custodian had taken down our outside drinking fountain the day before, and the kids had just noticed it was missing. The fountain is located on the wall between the outside bathrooms, and has a huge grate thing underneath it (it is hard to explain if you've never seen it) that you stand on, and looking down, there is all sorts of trash and other fun things, with a door to the basement. So the kids noticed the fountain was gone. They asked me where it was, and being silly, I asked them what they did with it. One of the girls looked at me and said "I think the witch who lives in the basement took it, cuz there's blood on the door!" I laughed and asked if they really thought so. "Yes!" was the reply. While the kids were lining up to come inside, one of the boys very seriously said, "I think the vampires took it. My dad is a vampire and they try to get me at night, but I run really fast." pause. "actually, my DAD isn't a vampire, but his spirit is." I was trying to not laugh at how serious he was. So funny.
My next kid adventure story is from today, at morning kindergarten recess. The kids came out and two boys came right up to me and our conversation went something like this:
Boy #1: Miss O, I have a pet raven!
Me: A pet raven? Wow.
Boy #1: (smiling widely) Yep!
Me: What's his name?
Boy #1: (thinking) Raven
Me: Where does Raven sleep?
Boy #1: in my room
Me: In your room?
Boy #2: (interrupting) I have a kitten!
Me: you do?
Boy #2: yes
Boy #1: (pointing to Boy #2) WE live together!
Me: really? (knowing full well these two are not even related)
Boys: YES!
Me: (to Boy #2) where does your kitten live?
Boy #2: in my room
Me: ooohhh. So, (looking at each boy respectively) does your raven attack your kitten?
Boys: nnnoooo.
Boy #1: my raven eats other birds.
Me: and where do you get other birds from?
Boy #1: (pausing, and not coming up with anything)
Boy #1: and I have a lion, a tiger, and (*something else I can't remember right now) too
Me: (eyes wide) Holy Moly! And they all live in your house?
Boy #1: (nodding head wildly) Yes!!
Me: What are their names?
Boy #1: (thinking again) the tiger is Chubby and the lion is Squishy (*I think. Something very close, anyway)
Me: (laughing) Oh. Well that sounds like a lot of fun
Boys: (looking at each other and smiling)
Boy #1: we only have one dad
Me: really? no mom?
Boy #2: no. we both have our own dads
Me: but you live together?
Boy #1: yes
Me: ok...
Boy #1: and we can make our own dinner too!
Me: you can? so you don't need your dad then?
Boy #1: well... we still need our dad. But when they leave, then we can make our own dinner
Me: I see. So you can make dinner for yourselves and your pets?
Boys: nodding heads in agreement
Boy #2: and we have brothers and sisters too!
Boy #1: Ya, 10 of them!
Me: Whoa! 10 brothers and sisters??
Boys: nodding and smiling at each other
The conversation would have gone on longer, but the bell rang to line up.
The imaginations of these kids is amazing, and I enjoy being able to hear the stories they tell me. I love my job :)
I was outside with afternoon kindergarten at recess. The custodian had taken down our outside drinking fountain the day before, and the kids had just noticed it was missing. The fountain is located on the wall between the outside bathrooms, and has a huge grate thing underneath it (it is hard to explain if you've never seen it) that you stand on, and looking down, there is all sorts of trash and other fun things, with a door to the basement. So the kids noticed the fountain was gone. They asked me where it was, and being silly, I asked them what they did with it. One of the girls looked at me and said "I think the witch who lives in the basement took it, cuz there's blood on the door!" I laughed and asked if they really thought so. "Yes!" was the reply. While the kids were lining up to come inside, one of the boys very seriously said, "I think the vampires took it. My dad is a vampire and they try to get me at night, but I run really fast." pause. "actually, my DAD isn't a vampire, but his spirit is." I was trying to not laugh at how serious he was. So funny.
My next kid adventure story is from today, at morning kindergarten recess. The kids came out and two boys came right up to me and our conversation went something like this:
Boy #1: Miss O, I have a pet raven!
Me: A pet raven? Wow.
Boy #1: (smiling widely) Yep!
Me: What's his name?
Boy #1: (thinking) Raven
Me: Where does Raven sleep?
Boy #1: in my room
Me: In your room?
Boy #2: (interrupting) I have a kitten!
Me: you do?
Boy #2: yes
Boy #1: (pointing to Boy #2) WE live together!
Me: really? (knowing full well these two are not even related)
Boys: YES!
Me: (to Boy #2) where does your kitten live?
Boy #2: in my room
Me: ooohhh. So, (looking at each boy respectively) does your raven attack your kitten?
Boys: nnnoooo.
Boy #1: my raven eats other birds.
Me: and where do you get other birds from?
Boy #1: (pausing, and not coming up with anything)
Boy #1: and I have a lion, a tiger, and (*something else I can't remember right now) too
Me: (eyes wide) Holy Moly! And they all live in your house?
Boy #1: (nodding head wildly) Yes!!
Me: What are their names?
Boy #1: (thinking again) the tiger is Chubby and the lion is Squishy (*I think. Something very close, anyway)
Me: (laughing) Oh. Well that sounds like a lot of fun
Boys: (looking at each other and smiling)
Boy #1: we only have one dad
Me: really? no mom?
Boy #2: no. we both have our own dads
Me: but you live together?
Boy #1: yes
Me: ok...
Boy #1: and we can make our own dinner too!
Me: you can? so you don't need your dad then?
Boy #1: well... we still need our dad. But when they leave, then we can make our own dinner
Me: I see. So you can make dinner for yourselves and your pets?
Boys: nodding heads in agreement
Boy #2: and we have brothers and sisters too!
Boy #1: Ya, 10 of them!
Me: Whoa! 10 brothers and sisters??
Boys: nodding and smiling at each other
The conversation would have gone on longer, but the bell rang to line up.
The imaginations of these kids is amazing, and I enjoy being able to hear the stories they tell me. I love my job :)
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Ah Kids!
Want to know the funniest moment of my day?
I'll tell you:
I was at the church this afternoon, practicing a song with a friend who will be singing it next week, and as we were walking out out, she and her daughter and I were talking. Her daughter is 4. The conversation went something like this: (keep in mind this happened well over 6 hours ago - so I don't recall the exact conversation anymore - but you get the gist)
"Mom, is Miss O (that's me) coming over for dinner?" looking at her mom.
My reply: "Are you making dinner? Cuz if I come over, you have to make dinner."
She grinned, "No. My mom will make it."
Mom said, "What if I don't want to be a grown up and make dinner?"
Without a moment's hesitation came the reply, "But Mom, you wear a bra!"
We were both nearly on the floor laughing. Such wonderful things the innocent children say ;)
This will be a forever joke in the lives of my friend and I. Thank you for the memory, dear one.
I'll tell you:
I was at the church this afternoon, practicing a song with a friend who will be singing it next week, and as we were walking out out, she and her daughter and I were talking. Her daughter is 4. The conversation went something like this: (keep in mind this happened well over 6 hours ago - so I don't recall the exact conversation anymore - but you get the gist)
"Mom, is Miss O (that's me) coming over for dinner?" looking at her mom.
My reply: "Are you making dinner? Cuz if I come over, you have to make dinner."
She grinned, "No. My mom will make it."
Mom said, "What if I don't want to be a grown up and make dinner?"
Without a moment's hesitation came the reply, "But Mom, you wear a bra!"
We were both nearly on the floor laughing. Such wonderful things the innocent children say ;)
This will be a forever joke in the lives of my friend and I. Thank you for the memory, dear one.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Starting Again
Well, today I started indexing again. I have not done indexing since June of last year :( That is 7 months of work I have to now try to catch up on. Wish me luck! I'll keep you posted!
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