For anyone who reads my blog and either knows Marlene or her husband Don.
Sending my prayers and love "Mr. B"
Marlene Clark Beckstrand Obituary: View Marlene Beckstrand's Obituary by Deseret News
Monday, May 21, 2012
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Press 'P' to Play a New Message
It's been a few days since this happened, but it still makes me laugh, so better late than never.
I get to frequently check phone messages at work because I do attendance. I was checking my messages on Monday and my first of five messages was a hang up. I hit the button to play the next message and it was a hang up too. I was confused and slightly concerned when the next three messages were also hang ups.
Generally, after listening to a message, the pre-recorded voice comes on and says, "press 'p' to replay this message, 'd' to delete this message, 'g' to give this message to another user"... so on and so on. It was only after the last message that I realized why I had so many hung up calls.
Instead of hitting 'd' to delete the message and hear the next message, I had been hitting 'p' to replay the current message. I laughed for nearly 5 minutes. I'm such a dork sometimes.
I get to frequently check phone messages at work because I do attendance. I was checking my messages on Monday and my first of five messages was a hang up. I hit the button to play the next message and it was a hang up too. I was confused and slightly concerned when the next three messages were also hang ups.
Generally, after listening to a message, the pre-recorded voice comes on and says, "press 'p' to replay this message, 'd' to delete this message, 'g' to give this message to another user"... so on and so on. It was only after the last message that I realized why I had so many hung up calls.
Instead of hitting 'd' to delete the message and hear the next message, I had been hitting 'p' to replay the current message. I laughed for nearly 5 minutes. I'm such a dork sometimes.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Happy Birthday!!
33 years ago, my parents started their (I won't use 'little') family. It took 3 years after marriage to get pregnant with their first child, but 9 months later, voila! Here I was!
I was not an easy child. I know some days were better than others, but as I look back (or reflect, since my eyes cannot go to the back of my head) I was a challenge; as I got older, it got worse. I was shy (not that being shy is a bad quality at all, it just made some things harder), I lied, I stole, I was (extremely) mischievous, I swore, I hit, I yelled (the list goes on, but I'll stop here) - basically, I did anything I was raised not to do.
Somehow, through it all, my parents didn't kill me. Somehow, they still loved me (though it was never said, but as I got older than the previously mentioned older, I recognized that they loved me through their actions). Somehow, I still turned out pretty ok.
People always told me that my parents were good people. You know what? Those people were (are) right! My parents ARE good people :) Thank you, Mom and Dad, for putting up with all my crap and drama for the last 33 years. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for teaching me important life lessons. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for not giving me everything I ever wanted - especially when I wanted it. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for being there for me, even when I didn't want you to be. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for bringing me into this world and for loving me :) I know I don't always say it (some things I picked up on really well. Hahaha), but I do love you both and I am glad that you are my parents!
It has been decided that this gift was from numerous family members (sorry kids, I'm giving away the secret!). The candy came from Robert, the ribbon from one of Kati's gifts, it was delivered by Crystal and Ed - who sang a beautiful 'Happy Birthday' song. Then Ed also gave me some Powerade lids, which were from Mindy, Chloe, and Logan.
We went to Panda Express and had a yummy meal - it was the first 'real' food I'd eaten since Saturday. I had a fever yesterday and slept most of the day. I felt well enough to go to work, so I did... and I really should be in bed now, but then you wouldn't be reading this, would you?
They even got me a cake :) I told Becky to keep the candles, since she'll be needing them in a few months anyway...
I was not an easy child. I know some days were better than others, but as I look back (or reflect, since my eyes cannot go to the back of my head) I was a challenge; as I got older, it got worse. I was shy (not that being shy is a bad quality at all, it just made some things harder), I lied, I stole, I was (extremely) mischievous, I swore, I hit, I yelled (the list goes on, but I'll stop here) - basically, I did anything I was raised not to do.
Somehow, through it all, my parents didn't kill me. Somehow, they still loved me (though it was never said, but as I got older than the previously mentioned older, I recognized that they loved me through their actions). Somehow, I still turned out pretty ok.
People always told me that my parents were good people. You know what? Those people were (are) right! My parents ARE good people :) Thank you, Mom and Dad, for putting up with all my crap and drama for the last 33 years. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for teaching me important life lessons. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for not giving me everything I ever wanted - especially when I wanted it. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for being there for me, even when I didn't want you to be. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for bringing me into this world and for loving me :) I know I don't always say it (some things I picked up on really well. Hahaha), but I do love you both and I am glad that you are my parents!
Now, a few pictures of my day today:
This was a fun surprise for me today! My friend Brenda (who also cuts my hair) found her way into Alpine (getting 'lost' several times and had to call the school to get directions) to bring me this balloon and a cookie! What a sweet friend :)
It has been decided that this gift was from numerous family members (sorry kids, I'm giving away the secret!). The candy came from Robert, the ribbon from one of Kati's gifts, it was delivered by Crystal and Ed - who sang a beautiful 'Happy Birthday' song. Then Ed also gave me some Powerade lids, which were from Mindy, Chloe, and Logan.Interestingly, this is no ordinary Reese's Egg either... it is the Recess Aide! (say them out loud, it will make sense - oh, and if you know what my job is. Hahaha)
I was invited to dinner by Becky and her family, and Phineas and Ferb :)
We went to Panda Express and had a yummy meal - it was the first 'real' food I'd eaten since Saturday. I had a fever yesterday and slept most of the day. I felt well enough to go to work, so I did... and I really should be in bed now, but then you wouldn't be reading this, would you?
They even got me a cake :) I told Becky to keep the candles, since she'll be needing them in a few months anyway...
I have been blessed with many wonderful and supportive friends. I got many texts, emails, messages via Facebook, cards, gifts, phone calls, and personal well-wishes. Even though I was not feeling well today, it was a good day to be born :)
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Call the Kidnappers
My adventure today with two kindergarten boys:
We were coming in from recess and two of the boys kept bugging each other. I then noticed one of them (boy 1) jumping on the others' (boy 2) feet. I told them both that they would come to the office with me. While we were waiting for the teacher to come, I overheard boy 2 tell boy 1 that he was going to call the kidnappers. As the teacher was letting the kids into class, I mentioned to her that boy 1 and boy 2 were coming with me to the office.
On the way down the hallway, this scene happened (I wish I could make a movie of it. So classic.): Boy 2 opens his coat and starts "pressing buttons". On closer inspection, on the inside of his coat is a pocket for a cell phone. On that pocket, is a picture of a phone, so he was 'dialing' his phone. He talks to the kidnappers "Can you come get Miss O? she's angry" I chuckle behind them. He hangs up the phone, and turning to boy 1 says "the kidnappers are on their way".
We get to the office and I have them sit down. I pull up a chair in front of them and sit. I look at them, and very seriously say, "So, you called the kidnappers to come and kidnap me because I'm angry?" pause "Why do you think I'm angry?" Since this was the first time the secretaries heard anything of it, I knew they would laugh. My 'knowing' was confirmed when I heard the door to the Principal's office shut. The boys and I talked about how we are supposed to act and that we are supposed to be nice to others.
*Sigh. I love my job :)
We were coming in from recess and two of the boys kept bugging each other. I then noticed one of them (boy 1) jumping on the others' (boy 2) feet. I told them both that they would come to the office with me. While we were waiting for the teacher to come, I overheard boy 2 tell boy 1 that he was going to call the kidnappers. As the teacher was letting the kids into class, I mentioned to her that boy 1 and boy 2 were coming with me to the office.
On the way down the hallway, this scene happened (I wish I could make a movie of it. So classic.): Boy 2 opens his coat and starts "pressing buttons". On closer inspection, on the inside of his coat is a pocket for a cell phone. On that pocket, is a picture of a phone, so he was 'dialing' his phone. He talks to the kidnappers "Can you come get Miss O? she's angry" I chuckle behind them. He hangs up the phone, and turning to boy 1 says "the kidnappers are on their way".
We get to the office and I have them sit down. I pull up a chair in front of them and sit. I look at them, and very seriously say, "So, you called the kidnappers to come and kidnap me because I'm angry?" pause "Why do you think I'm angry?" Since this was the first time the secretaries heard anything of it, I knew they would laugh. My 'knowing' was confirmed when I heard the door to the Principal's office shut. The boys and I talked about how we are supposed to act and that we are supposed to be nice to others.
*Sigh. I love my job :)
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Grade: F
Fail: 1- be unsuccessful in achieving one's goal. 2- neglect to do something. 3- break down; cease to work well.
Failed: 1- not achieving its end or not lasting; unsuccessful. 2- not functioning properly; broken-down.
Failing: 1- a weakness, esp. in character; a shortcoming
Failure: 1- lack of success. 2- the omission of expected or required action. 3- the action or state of not functioning.
I feel like all of these words right now.
I know that these feelings are from the Dark Side.
I know that I haven't really (or am not a) 'fail'-ed, -ing, -ure at all.
After I finish this post, I will inevitably feel better and can focus on feeling happy again.
Here is why I am feeling this today:
I have had the church calling of being over music in the Young Women's program for about two years now. I started with good steam, making sure things were done (even earlier than necessary) and set so no one was "waiting on music". I had such dreams and goals of teaching everyone something wonderful about music, helping them to understand the importance of good music, and helping the YW develop their talents - whether in singing, playing piano, playing another instrument, conducting music, or even just being able to read music. I have a deep love and appreciation for good music, and I wanted to convey that feeling to the YW in my ward.
I have tried my best to do what I felt I should do, but have never felt like I was "a part" of the YW leadership, or even supported in what I was trying to do. I started dropping the ball on being prepared. Then I'd get that spark back and get on top of things again. But still not feeling supported, I again let things go. It seemed that no matter what I did, I was now one step behind what they needed and when.
Today in church, our YW provided the program for our first meeting. There were three musical numbers, none of which I was a part of. I should have been... but I took myself out of the equation (fail) because I was having a "hard time" and didn't want to 'taint' the beautiful spirits of our YW. I listened and tried to feel the spirit. But all I could think was "you should have been a part of this! You should have been there to help them learn those songs. It's your own fault for feeling this way today!" so on and so forth. To nail the coffin shut, one of the leaders got up to say a few words and said that she was impressed with the YW in being able to put together all of the musical numbers ON THEIR OWN. I do not believe that she intended that statement to hurt me, but it did- because I know that I was not doing what I should have been doing (fail).
What kind of a leader am I, setting this bad example of having a calling to do something, and then not doing it? Yet I get upset with other people when they do the same thing? Hypocrite!
I could blame my attitude on the fact that I (still) don't "fit in" in my ward. I am still stuck between the "with kids" and the "youngers". I don't have a place. Adults with kids see me as a child (because I don't have kids), and the 'kids' see me as some 'old' goofy 'kid' who isn't an adult to deserve the 'respect' that other adults get. Many people think I am younger than I am - because I don't have kids, and I act like it. It sometimes bothers me.
I could also blame my attitude on the fact that I think "no one understands". Which is a total lie. I know that I have friends who understand and who I can talk to about things. Why do I keep trying to use the "do it myself" card. I know I can't do it myself, I need help. We all need help sometimes.
Mostly, I blame myself for just being selfish. "Well, if THEY are not going to make me feel a part of them, why should I try" "THEY do not make me feel welcome here" "THEY should be making the effort to make me feel included" Where is my part in all of this?? Isn't it MY job to feel a part of them? Isn't it MY job to help them feel welcome when I'm around? Isn't it MY job to be making an effort to include others?
I realize that things go both ways and that we can all only do what we can, but what kind of message am I sending to others when I don't do what I expect them to do? Maybe I am being really hard (and wrong) on myself right now. Frankly, I don't care. Sometimes, we need a reality check and if I can't get it from someone else, I may as well try to recognize it about myself. We are all our own worst enemy.
All that being said, I do try my best to be honest and fair with everyone.
In other news, Rachael is doing better (I realize that if you haven't read my Facebook posts, you will not know what I'm talking about - Rachael has been in the hospital for the last week due to an abscess on her appendix bursting) and should be home soon. Judy Miller (Rachael's grandmother) passed away last Thursday morning and her funeral is tomorrow. I was able to sit with Rachael in the hospital for a number of hours last Wed night so that her mom, Becky (one of my best friends) could be with her mom and other family members, in preparation for Judy's departure.
My niece, Chloe, had surgery on her eyes to correct a problem last week and she is speedily recovering from that; and is able to see better.
I have not heard recently about April's grandmother, so I hope she is doing well.
Jamie's cat also passed away last week and Jamie has been busy and stressed, so we haven't had time to talk.
Allison is pregnant (yay!!), Linda just had her baby girl. My sister, Kati, is getting married in April. My cousin, Aaron, is getting married in May. I am still waiting to meet my eternal companion and start my own family.
Play practices are... going. It is frustrating knowing that performances are the end of March, and the leads still don't know all of their lines!! There are only a few bits of music left to figure out (a couple of reprises and the bow music), so that is good.
Marvin the Martian flip flops showed up in my mail box... that was a fun surprise that totally made my day! Thank You Fry's!!
I don't even want to get started on Stake Sports right now. Suffice it to say that of the 9 weeks we have had for tournament, only one week was not changed on the schedule. I have had to make a new schedule almost every week, and now we have had to add another building to play in. I am frustrated and tired of having to make new schedules, to allow for other people to use the building, when I was the one who properly scheduled the building back in Nov/Dec!
I can't think of anything else to say right now. *breathe*
These have been the goings-on of late. One way or another, they have affected my life. I pray for all those who are mentioned at all in this post (and others who are not mentioned).
I feel better now that I have 'vented' about my failure (in regards to YW music). Hopefully my next post will be of a 'lighter' subject again :)
I love my life. I love my job. I love my callings. I love my family. I love my friends. I love my Heavenly Father and my Savior.
Failed: 1- not achieving its end or not lasting; unsuccessful. 2- not functioning properly; broken-down.
Failing: 1- a weakness, esp. in character; a shortcoming
Failure: 1- lack of success. 2- the omission of expected or required action. 3- the action or state of not functioning.
I feel like all of these words right now.
I know that these feelings are from the Dark Side.
I know that I haven't really (or am not a) 'fail'-ed, -ing, -ure at all.
After I finish this post, I will inevitably feel better and can focus on feeling happy again.
Here is why I am feeling this today:
I have had the church calling of being over music in the Young Women's program for about two years now. I started with good steam, making sure things were done (even earlier than necessary) and set so no one was "waiting on music". I had such dreams and goals of teaching everyone something wonderful about music, helping them to understand the importance of good music, and helping the YW develop their talents - whether in singing, playing piano, playing another instrument, conducting music, or even just being able to read music. I have a deep love and appreciation for good music, and I wanted to convey that feeling to the YW in my ward.
I have tried my best to do what I felt I should do, but have never felt like I was "a part" of the YW leadership, or even supported in what I was trying to do. I started dropping the ball on being prepared. Then I'd get that spark back and get on top of things again. But still not feeling supported, I again let things go. It seemed that no matter what I did, I was now one step behind what they needed and when.
Today in church, our YW provided the program for our first meeting. There were three musical numbers, none of which I was a part of. I should have been... but I took myself out of the equation (fail) because I was having a "hard time" and didn't want to 'taint' the beautiful spirits of our YW. I listened and tried to feel the spirit. But all I could think was "you should have been a part of this! You should have been there to help them learn those songs. It's your own fault for feeling this way today!" so on and so forth. To nail the coffin shut, one of the leaders got up to say a few words and said that she was impressed with the YW in being able to put together all of the musical numbers ON THEIR OWN. I do not believe that she intended that statement to hurt me, but it did- because I know that I was not doing what I should have been doing (fail).
What kind of a leader am I, setting this bad example of having a calling to do something, and then not doing it? Yet I get upset with other people when they do the same thing? Hypocrite!
I could blame my attitude on the fact that I (still) don't "fit in" in my ward. I am still stuck between the "with kids" and the "youngers". I don't have a place. Adults with kids see me as a child (because I don't have kids), and the 'kids' see me as some 'old' goofy 'kid' who isn't an adult to deserve the 'respect' that other adults get. Many people think I am younger than I am - because I don't have kids, and I act like it. It sometimes bothers me.
I could also blame my attitude on the fact that I think "no one understands". Which is a total lie. I know that I have friends who understand and who I can talk to about things. Why do I keep trying to use the "do it myself" card. I know I can't do it myself, I need help. We all need help sometimes.
Mostly, I blame myself for just being selfish. "Well, if THEY are not going to make me feel a part of them, why should I try" "THEY do not make me feel welcome here" "THEY should be making the effort to make me feel included" Where is my part in all of this?? Isn't it MY job to feel a part of them? Isn't it MY job to help them feel welcome when I'm around? Isn't it MY job to be making an effort to include others?
I realize that things go both ways and that we can all only do what we can, but what kind of message am I sending to others when I don't do what I expect them to do? Maybe I am being really hard (and wrong) on myself right now. Frankly, I don't care. Sometimes, we need a reality check and if I can't get it from someone else, I may as well try to recognize it about myself. We are all our own worst enemy.
All that being said, I do try my best to be honest and fair with everyone.
In other news, Rachael is doing better (I realize that if you haven't read my Facebook posts, you will not know what I'm talking about - Rachael has been in the hospital for the last week due to an abscess on her appendix bursting) and should be home soon. Judy Miller (Rachael's grandmother) passed away last Thursday morning and her funeral is tomorrow. I was able to sit with Rachael in the hospital for a number of hours last Wed night so that her mom, Becky (one of my best friends) could be with her mom and other family members, in preparation for Judy's departure.
My niece, Chloe, had surgery on her eyes to correct a problem last week and she is speedily recovering from that; and is able to see better.
I have not heard recently about April's grandmother, so I hope she is doing well.
Jamie's cat also passed away last week and Jamie has been busy and stressed, so we haven't had time to talk.
Allison is pregnant (yay!!), Linda just had her baby girl. My sister, Kati, is getting married in April. My cousin, Aaron, is getting married in May. I am still waiting to meet my eternal companion and start my own family.
Play practices are... going. It is frustrating knowing that performances are the end of March, and the leads still don't know all of their lines!! There are only a few bits of music left to figure out (a couple of reprises and the bow music), so that is good.
Marvin the Martian flip flops showed up in my mail box... that was a fun surprise that totally made my day! Thank You Fry's!!
I don't even want to get started on Stake Sports right now. Suffice it to say that of the 9 weeks we have had for tournament, only one week was not changed on the schedule. I have had to make a new schedule almost every week, and now we have had to add another building to play in. I am frustrated and tired of having to make new schedules, to allow for other people to use the building, when I was the one who properly scheduled the building back in Nov/Dec!
I can't think of anything else to say right now. *breathe*
These have been the goings-on of late. One way or another, they have affected my life. I pray for all those who are mentioned at all in this post (and others who are not mentioned).
I feel better now that I have 'vented' about my failure (in regards to YW music). Hopefully my next post will be of a 'lighter' subject again :)
I love my life. I love my job. I love my callings. I love my family. I love my friends. I love my Heavenly Father and my Savior.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Broken Hearted
So much has been happening so quickly that I'm on emotional overload. I can't cry, I can't scream, I only feel so hopeless and helpless.
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