Mental Health Hotline

Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mothership.

If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.

If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again in a few minutes.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.

Silly Kids

Kids make me laugh. They have their days when they are mean to each other and can be little royal pains, but sometimes, they are just too funny and random. Since Monday, there have been random kids (who I just put together today are all in the same class) who come up to me and say or do something silly then run away. I watch them as they huddle with other kids and talk about their success. They turn to look at me and by that time I am just laughing, that makes them laugh, which makes me laugh more.
Outside of "bad days", I do love my job and being able to interact with the kids on a day to day basis. Most of them are ok with me, some of them like me a lot, and others (the ones who get in trouble a lot) wouldn't mind if I got fired or didn't come back to work tomorrow. Some day, the kids in that last group will realize my role at the school and will learn to appreciate what I've tried to teach them. :)
Hooray for happy times and great kids!!

Einstein Quote of the Day

Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution.

On my computer I get a new quote from Einstein every day. This is the quote for today. The first time I read it, I agreed but as I was typing it, I read it differently... which made me think. Depending on what the situation is, knowledge could be just as important as imagination. For instance, if you were trapped in a fire, knowledge would tell you (hopefully) how best to get out and survive; but if you didn't know how to get out and used your imagination to find a way to keep you safe... well, it sounded better in my head :) Although I do suppose that it would be because of somebody else's imagination that we would have the knowledge to get out of that fire in the first place. Hmmm.
Chances are, Einstein was hinting toward a much deeper level of understanding than what I can comprehend anyway, so I'll just keep thinking about it.
Feel free to leave your comments or thoughts on this quote.

What The?

This is definitely one of the strangest phenomenon that has happened on the playground all year... Someone (I think older than elementary age) put the end of this jump rope into the swing link. This task must have been challenging, because I tried to put the other end of the jump rope in the other side of the swing and could not get it. I felt like I was trying to put a square peg in a round hole - a very complex puzzle.
The jump rope was wedged in there tight enough that it would not budge any way I tried to move it. I finally had to cut the rope, and pull the swing over to one of the bars to 'pound' the handle out of the link. I then put the string back through the handle and the class who lost their jump rope was able to get it back.

Christmas Carols

As we near the Christmas season, let us not forget those wonderful Christmas songs for those of us who fall under the following 'mentally challenged' categories:

1- Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

2- Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

3- Dementia --- I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas

4- Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

5- Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and...

6- Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

7- Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

8- Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

9- Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent Night, Holy oooh look at the froggy! Can I have a chocolate? Why is France so far away?

10- Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells....

I Could Survive!

You Are 65% Likely to Survive Another Great Depression

Even though you may not be expecting the worst, you're the type of person who prepares for the worst. You live a relatively modest life. You don't overspend, and you aren't very materialistic. You are also quite self sufficient and independent. You have many useful skills. You can take care of yourself and those you love... which is crucial to surviving another Great Depression.

Could You Survive Another Great Depression?